A letter to my son before his birth

March 8, 2013

To my precious baby boy,

I cannot believe that in just 3 short weeks you will join us in this world! What an incredible gift God is giving us in you. I remember the months leading up to finding out we were pregnant, my whole life all I wanted was a family, being a mommy was my dream job! And each month that passed, I hoped and prayed next month would be it! That one night in July when I realized I had seriously been eating WAY more at night lately then I am used too, I was curious if maybe that was our lucky month! Your dad was on a trip, but I just couldn’t wait to find out until he was home the next day. I took a test and it was positive, and I was in disbelief. I had waited SO long for this moment and my emotions were all over the place! I was thrilled and wished your dad was with me at that moment, but I knew I had to keep it a secret until I could share the amazing news with him the next day when I picked him up from the airport. I went to bed that night knowing God has blessed me and I was going to be a mommy, and I hardly slept thinking about you all night!!!

Here we are almost 9 months later preparing for your arrival. Everything is done, your room is ready for you, and your dad and I are prepared and ready to welcome you home any day! I’ve organized, washed, decorated, put away and purchased just about everything I can think of! I hope you like planes, since your daddy is a pilot I’ve gone a bit plane crazy assuming you will love airplanes as much as him! Every night daddy and I are together, we keep talking about how “in X number of days we’re going to have a baby!”, it’s such an exciting yet strange feeling. I keep asking your dad, what will we do with you once your home from the hospital? I assume take a lot of pictures!  I’ve been sheltering you, growing you for the past 9 months, and one day soon I’ll share you with the world! I’m trying to cherish every move you make, and our alone time together. It’s so special to be able to be your provider for everything for these 9 months. I hope I’ve kept you comfortable!  I always wonder if you can feel me rubbing you through my belly and if it’s comforting to you, will you remember that when you’re outside the womb? When I get down about what I look like at 9 months pregnant, I remember how worth is this all is, to be growing you inside of me! And what a sweet blessing it is. We got to see your face on the ultrasound screen 2 days ago, and it was such an amazing sight! It was like suddenly, it all made sense, there you were, a perfect little boy, the most adorable face I’ve ever seen! I feel so hard in love with you, I had no idea I would ever feel that way!

I have anxious thoughts about you joining our world; will I be able to protect you enough? Love you enough? Will I constantly worry about you? I know God will ease my fears, and with his help we will do our best as parents. I will try my hardest to be the best mommy to you that you could ever ask for! I know your daddy feels the exact same way. I pray that we give you everything you need in life to grow into an amazing man one day.

It’s funny, only God knows how you will make your grand entrance into this world, I’ve been anxious for you to come lately. Will it be soon or late? Will labor be quick or long? Will you dad be home or will he have to rush home from across the country? Will you look the same as the ultrasound picture? Will you have hair? Will you be a good eater? So many questions, and soon we will know the answer to them all!

I sit here right now, and all the aches and pains of pregnancy dissipate as I think about your sweet face, and holding you so soon. Luke you are so loved, you’re about to make us a family, me a mommy, my lifelong dream, and I couldn’t be more excited!!! I love you!

Mommy