Bringing home baby

I have to say, the first few days of Luke's life were pretty rough (on me). Emotionally and physically! Post partum hormones really mess with you! I am so thankful for my amazing husband and wonderful mom who basically did everything for me and Luke those first few days. My mom stayed through the first weekend, and then had to go back to work, I sobbed as she left that Sunday, I seriously didn't know how I could do it without her help!

daddy bringing us home! 

Oma on baby duty 

Mark was amazing through, he basically did everything for me, so I could focus on Luke. He ran all the errands, fed me (sometimes ACTUALLY feeding me with a fork because my hands were occupied) ensured I was drinking, had my meds, got small spurts of sleep, sat in the bathroom while I showered incase I fell over from exhaustion! Everything!

My little ski bunny in his bili light goggles! 

Luke was born with a tongue tie, super common, his frenulum was connected all the way to the tip of his tongue. We took him to an ENT on Monday after he was born to get it corrected, as it was inhibiting him from nursing properly. Before we could get it fixed, I noticed he started sleeping more then usual for a tiny baby, he wasn't waking up easily to eat at night. I was worried to I called the pediatrition early Saturday morning and we took him in. Turns out due to the tongue tie he wasn't able to get enough to eat and was hungry (poor baby!!) and was jaundice because of it. We decided to supplement with formula a bit due to his weight loss, he was down to 5.12. We took home the bili lights, and had to keep him under the lights whenever he wasn't feeding to try and get his bili numbers down. We took him back to the ped daily to get his numbers checked, I think we had the lights for a about 4 days before his numbers had decreased enough to stop. Thank goodness too, because I hated putting him under the lights! He hated it too, he was either too warm or cold and most of all wasn't being held like he wanted! :(

I hated having to put him in here and not hold him

I realized that Sunday I was in a bad place, I was so exhausted, and I wasn't eating enough. I knew I needed to eat, but I couldn't even stomach the idea of putting food in my mouth. Thankfully Mark's mom and her boyfriend came over to meet Luke that day, and watched the baby while I took a nap, and brought me some much needed nutrition, carnation instant breakfast! For the next 2 weeks I lived off of that stuff!

Luke was sleeping in our room in the rock n play sleeper we had (best baby item ever!) Mark would wake up to sit with me during Luke's feedings, keeping me company. Although sometimes he wouldn't hear Luke cry and would sleep through a couple of feedings, I seriously have no idea how men can do that! All the crying and commotion and still sleep? Crazy.

swallowed by the swaddle blankey

At two weeks old, Mark had to go back to work and my mom came back to Austin to stay with Luke and I for 10 days. I was SO thankful for her taking time off work to come be with us. She was such an amazing help during this time. I was struggling with breastfeeding, and needed a lot of help and emotional support. I ended up going to see a lactation consultant who helped us a lot, and thankfully I can say at 13 weeks old Luke is still only getting breast milk! It's been one of the hardest journeys I've gone through, but I'm glad I stuck with it. I'll write about my struggles in another post.

For me, the first few weeks were really hard. I always thought I'd love the newborn baby stage, but honestly it was pretty tough. The older Luke gets the easier it has been, not that I didn't love that tiny baby, I loved him more then anything in the world! I was just hard. I actually tried really hard to be honest about how I was feeling and dealing with it all when people asked. All to often you ask a new mom how she is and she just gushes about how amazing the baby is and how she's tired but it's all so wonderful! I think that makes it hard for those of us that don't have that same experience, and have a really tough time. Breastfeeding make me weep, tiredness made me weep, everything made me weep! I thought I was doing it all wrong, I was trying to mother and care for this precious baby and yet I would get so frustrated when I just wasn't coming naturally! Now, 13 weeks out things are smooth as they can be, and I'm sure next go round those first few weeks will be easier now that I know what to expect. The hormone dump can really screw with you... But that baby, is the most amazing thing, aside from my husband, that every entered my life! Love you baby Luke, welcome home!

Just born :) 

tiny baby, big daddy